When Your Voice Gets Twisted: Reclaiming Your Identity After Emotional Deflection

JILL | INNER HEALING COACH
Jul 23
3 min read

Updated: Jul 28

There’s a pain deeper than any raised voice. It’s the pain of not being heard—especially when you’re brave enough to speak up.

For so many women, one of the most disorienting experiences in a relationship is when she finally gathers the courage to express how something hurts… only to have it flipped back on her.

She doesn’t bring it up to fight. She brings it up because she cares. Because she still believes it can be better.

But instead of listening, he gets angry. Instead of hearing her heart, he critiques her tone. Instead of owning his actions, he makes her feel like the enemy.

Suddenly, the entire conversation becomes about how she said it, not what she said. And just like that, her valid pain is dismissed, diminished, and distorted.

She leaves the conversation carrying more weight than she started with—shame, confusion, and silence. Again.

This Isn’t Love. This Is Emotional Deflection.

This isn’t conflict resolution. This is manipulation.

And for a woman of faith who desires healthy connection and emotional growth, this is a soul-deep wound. Because it’s not just about the moment—it’s about the message underneath it all:

“Your feelings don’t matter.”

“Your pain is a problem.”

“Your voice is too much.”

But let me speak truth over your heart today, sister in Christ:

You are not “too sensitive.”

You are not “too emotional.”

You are not to blame for someone else’s inability to be accountable.

When Your Nervous System Remembers What Your Mind Tries to Forget

After enough of these cycles, your body starts reacting even before your brain can process it. Tight chest. Shallow breath. Tense jaw. Racing thoughts.

Your nervous system has learned: Speaking up = danger.

This is what trauma does—it trains your body to expect rejection, chaos, or dismissal when you share your truth. But just because your body has adapted to survive doesn’t mean this is where your story ends.

There is healing. There is restoration. There is truth that sets you free.

“God is not the author of confusion but of peace.” — 1 Corinthians 14:33

You Were Created for Truth, Peace, and Clarity

God never designed relationships to be built on fear, gaslighting, or emotional manipulation. He created covenant love—where communication leads to connection, not confusion.

And if you’ve been made to feel like your pain is too inconvenient, or your voice is too loud… hear this loud and clear:

Your voice matters. Your pain matters. You matter.

Faith, Science & Healing: Your Body Is Crying Out for Safety

When emotional patterns like these go unchecked, they don’t just hurt your heart—they rewire your brain and nervous system.

That’s why even small conversations begin to feel dangerous. That’s why your body tenses before your words even form. That’s why you doubt yourself after every honest moment.

But healing is possible.

🧠 You can rewire your brain.

💛 You can heal your nervous system.

🙏 You can come back home to your God-given identity.

Your Next Step Toward Healing Starts Here

I wrote my faith-based, trauma-informed eBook Your Brain is Speaking - Your Body is Listening: Truth About Trauma – How to Regulate Your Mind & Body to help women like you who feel trapped in silence, shame, or survival mode.

This guide will show you:

How trauma wires your brain and body
Why you keep questioning your reality
How to rebuild safety within yourself
Tools to regulate your nervous system
Scripture-based encouragement for emotional and spiritual healing

➡️ Get your copy of Your Brain is Speaking - Your Body is Listening: Truth About Trauma – How to Regulate Your Mind & Body today and take the first step toward truth, peace, and restoration.

Ready to Heal and Reclaim Your Voice?

Start your journey now with these powerful, faith-rooted resources:

Trauma Quiz and Answer Key
Your Brain is Speaking: Truth About Trauma – How to Regulate Your Mind & Body
What Stress and Trauma Do to Your Body
Redeeming Your Love Dating Guide (for 30+ or Young Women)
Happy Healthy Habits eBook – for a mind-body-soul reset rooted in God’s wisdom