Healing the Mother Wound: Finding Peace, Forgiveness & Faith

JILL | INNER HEALING COACH
Oct 23
5 min read

Updated: Nov 3

There’s a kind of pain that doesn’t fade. A wound so deep that it becomes part of your emotional landscape. I’ve lived with that wound for as long as I can remember — the wound left by my mother’s inability to love me in the ways I needed, and the abuse I endured until I left home at 17.

I miss my mom daily. I’ve forgiven her. Yet there’s a gaping hole in my soul from her lack of ability to love me, the neglect, the damage. Moving out at 17 marked not only physical separation but also the loss of what should have been.

If you’re reading this and you feel the echo of a mother wound inside you, I invite you to watch both videos above. Reflect on your story. Speak your truth. And maybe — just maybe — allow yourself the possibility of a future where the wound shapes you and changes you, rather than defining you.

My Own Reflection

I Miss My Mom Daily

Despite everything, I miss her. I wake up to the echo of her absence. I long for the one relationship I needed the most — and often she was the one who hurt me. That contradiction feels unbearable.

I’ve Forgiven Her

When I say I’ve forgiven her, I mean it. Forgiveness does not mean the wound disappears, or that the memory of pain goes away. It means I no longer carry her actions as poison I’m feeding myself. I’ve accepted that she was unable to show up for me, and I release myself from waiting for something that will never come.

Forgiveness, Healing & What Comes After

Here are some of the key points that resonated from this video:

Forgiveness is a process, not a one-time event. The video emphasizes that forgiveness doesn’t mean “everything is okay now” or “the hurt never happened” — it means you’re choosing to stop letting the hurt control your present.
Acknowledgement of pain is essential. You can't skip the feeling or minimize what happened. Recognizing you were harmed (or neglected) is the first step toward freeing yourself.
It doesn’t excuse the behavior. Forgiving doesn’t mean condoning what was done or saying, “it was fine.” The video underscores that forgiveness is for your peace more than for theirs.
Healing and boundaries go hand in hand. The video points out that part of forgiving means deciding how you move forward — sometimes that means maintaining distance, sometimes it means redefining the relationship, sometimes it means “no relationship.”
Self-compassion matters. A major message: you must forgive yourself for surviving, for staying as long as you did, for the ways you protected yourself, and for the person you’ve had to become.
The wound can transform you. Not by making you bitter or broken, but by shaping you into someone who knows what love isn’t, and who can choose better, who can heal and expand.
Forgiveness doesn’t always lead to reconciliation. The video is clear that you can forgive without going back. The broken trust may never be repaired — and that’s okay. Healing isn’t dependent on them.
Time + patience + action. Forgiveness and healing don’t come overnight. The video suggests practicing rituals (writing, speaking your truth, therapy, empowered choices) to support the process.

Yet the Gaping Hole Remains

Even in forgiveness, even in acceptance, there remains a deep and gaping hole in my soul. A hole created by the lack of love I needed and deserved, by the abuse, and by the abandonment I felt. When you’re young, you fantasize about what “love from a mother” would feel like: warmth, protection, unconditional acceptance, comfort. Instead, I got something else. The absence. The injury. The brokenness.

Moving out at 17 changed my life, yes. It saved me from further abuse. It gave me safety. But it also marked a separation not just of body, but of what could have been. I took myself out of a space that was unsafe, but in doing so I lost the possibility of repair. I lost the chance for the mother-child relationship as it should have been.

What I Want You to Know

If you carry a wound like this — you are not broken beyond repair.
Your longing is legitimate and valid. Wanting love from your mother (or caregiver) isn’t a weakness; it’s human.
Forgiving doesn’t erase the wound. But it can stop the wound from becoming your identity.
The hole left behind is not something to fill with another person’s love as a substitute; it’s something to heal around, to allow space for your own self-love, self-care, and self-recognition.
Healing doesn’t mean forgetting. It means integrating the pain, acknowledging the damage, and moving forward with a new relationship to the past — and a new commitment to yourself.
Using the lessons from the second video: you can choose peace. You can choose your path. You can forgive for your own sake. You can set boundaries. You can practice self-compassion.
The wound doesn’t have to define you. It can transform you.

My Commitment to Myself

I commit to feeling the pain, the loss, the longing. I commit to acknowledging the wound — naming it, owning it, not hiding behind a facade that “everything’s fine.” I commit to creating a life where I can mother myself, protect myself, and validate myself. Because that gaping hole?

It doesn’t mean I am deficient. It means I had unmet needs. And now I choose to meet them — in whatever way I can.

Your Invitation to Begin Healing the Mother Wound

Sister, if this message and these videos stirred something deep within you — that’s not weakness, it’s an awakening. The ache you feel isn’t proof you’re broken; it’s proof you’re ready for restoration.

Healing the mother wound takes courage, truth, and tenderness. It’s a journey of remembering who you are beneath the pain — chosen, cherished, and loved by a God who never leaves.

I’ve created a free downloadable reflection journal to guide you through this next step of healing. Inside, you’ll find:

✨ Gentle faith-based journal prompts

✨ Scriptures to anchor your heart

✨ Practical ways to re-parent your inner child

✨ A closing prayer to release what was and receive peace

Take time this week to sit with these questions, pray through them, and let God meet you right where the ache lives.

I created The Inner Healing Journey Method™ and a collection of faith-based, trauma-informed tools because I know what it feels like to lose yourself—and what it takes to rebuild.

✨ Inside, you’ll find resources to help you: