Verbal Abuse Is Abuse: The Wounds You Can’t See
- JILL | INNER HEALING COACH
- Sep 25
- 3 min read
Verbally abusing your woman is just as bad as hitting her.
The damage just looks different.

Bruises fade. Words don’t.
They linger. They echo. They bury themselves in her spirit and replay at the worst possible moments. You may forget what you said—or act like it wasn’t “that deep.” But she doesn’t.
Because once you use your mouth as a weapon, your “I love you” starts to feel like a setup. Your apologies lose weight. Your silence screams louder than your shouting ever did.
Physical wounds can scab over. Emotional ones? They take root in places you’ll never see.
You can’t tell a woman you love her, then tear her apart with your words when you’re angry. That’s not love. That’s control. That’s emotional abuse dressed up as “just venting” or “she pushed me.” No. Own it. You were disrespectful. You were reckless. And the damage you caused didn’t end with the conversation—it started there.
Because when a woman loves you, she internalizes your voice. It becomes part of how she sees herself. So when the person she trusts most speaks to her with cruelty, sarcasm, blame, or humiliation, it cuts deeper than anyone else ever could.
She may stay. She may pretend she’s okay. She may even defend you to others. But slowly… she starts to pull back. She questions her worth. She loses her glow. And eventually, she becomes a version of herself that looks like survival instead of joy. That’s what your words did.
So don’t let the absence of bruises fool you into thinking you haven’t caused harm. Verbal abuse is abuse. It breaks down her confidence. It steals her peace. It teaches her to walk on eggshells around someone she should feel safe with.

And if you really loved her…
You’d protect her heart even when you’re angry.
You’d choose silence over harm.
You’d be her peace, not the voice that haunts her in the quiet.
Because words can either build a woman up or destroy her. And once you’ve used them to destroy, “I didn’t mean it” doesn’t fix it.
God’s Standard of Love
The Bible says, “The tongue has the power of life and death” (Proverbs 18:21). Your words either breathe life or bring destruction. True love isn’t reckless with its tongue—it speaks life, even in conflict.
Scripture calls us to “encourage one another and build each other up” (1 Thessalonians 5:11). That is what real love looks like. Anything else is harm disguised as love.
Final Word
If you are a man reading this, hear me: your words shape her world. You have the power to wound or to heal, to tear down or to strengthen.
Choose life. Choose love. Choose words that reflect God’s heart, not the brokenness of anger and pride.
And if you’re a woman who has endured verbal abuse, know this: you are not what he said. God’s truth about you is louder than his lies. Healing is possible. Your worth is unshakable.
Ready to Start Your Inner Healing Journey?
Begin today with these powerful, faith-rooted tools designed to help you reclaim your voice, rebuild your peace, and walk in God’s truth for your life:
👉 Raising Her Worth – A movement-restoring eBook that calls men higher, heals wounds, and equips families + ministries. Includes a FREE 93-page workbook.
👉 The Inner Healing Journey Method™ – A self-paced, faith-anchored, trauma-informed course for women ready to move from survival to steady peace.
👉 Your Brain is Speaking: Truth About Trauma – How to Regulate Your Mind & Body
👉 What Stress and Trauma Do to Your Body
👉 Deceit Masked – A Faith-Based Guide to Protect Your Heart in Dating
👉 Redeeming Your Love Dating Guide (30+ or Young Women’s Edition)
👉 Healthy Happy Habits eBook – A mind-body-soul reset rooted in God's wisdom
🛒 Available now at www.innerhealingcoaching.com/shop-1
You are not too much. You are not beyond repair. Your body isn’t broken—it’s trying to protect you. Now it’s time to retrain it to feel safe again.
Healing begins today. Let’s walk this road together.
– Jill | INNER HEALING COACH
@innerhealingcoach
Helping women reclaim their worth, restore their voice, and walk in healing.
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