It Is Okay To Be Angry. And God Can Handle Every Bit Of It.

I want to say something to you today that the church rarely says out loud.

Your anger is not a sin.

Not the anger at your husband.

Not the anger at your family who did not believe you.

Not the anger at the friends who told you to stay.

Not the anger at the pastor who handed you scripture about submission while you were quietly disappearing inside your own life.

And not the anger at God.

Every bit of it is allowed.

Because here is what I know from living through the kind of pain that makes you want to shake your fist at heaven and demand answers that do not come on your timeline.

God is big enough to hold your anger. He always has been.

David knew it. Job knew it. The entire book of Psalms is full of it. These were not faithless people. These were people in real relationship with a real God who did not require them to perform peace they did not feel.

And He does not require it from you either.

What Nobody Gave You Permission To Say

You are angry that you were not believed.

You are angry that the people who were supposed to protect you told you to pray more and stay longer and submit more while you were being destroyed from the inside out.

You are angry that you were made to feel that your pain was somehow your fault. That if your faith had been stronger. That if you had been more. That if you had done more. That somehow the outcome would have been different.

You are angry that statistics tell a truth the church refuses to acknowledge. That for every story of a man who changed there are thousands of women still waiting for a change that is never coming. Still shrinking. Still silent. Still believing that their endurance is what God requires of them.

And you are angry at God for not stopping it.

I understand that anger completely.

I have lived inside it.

And I want to tell you what I learned there.

What Anger At God Actually Means

Anger at God is not faithlessness.

It is intimacy.

You cannot be angry at someone you do not believe exists. You cannot shake your fist at a God you have walked away from. The very fact that you are angry at Him means you are still in relationship with Him.

Still expecting something from Him.

Still believing on some level that He has the power to have done something differently.

That is not the absence of faith.

That is faith in its most raw and honest form.

Job lost everything. His children. His health. His wealth. Everything he had built and everything he loved. And he did not perform peace he did not feel. He demanded answers. He questioned God directly. He said out loud the things that his friends told him were dangerous to say.

And God did not condemn him for it.

God said Job had spoken what was right.

It was the friends who performed comfortable theology who were wrong.

What The Church Got Wrong About Your Suffering

I need to say this clearly because I think it has kept too many women trapped in a silence that is slowly destroying them.

Your suffering was not God's will for your life.

He did not design abuse. He did not design manipulation and control and the slow erosion of a woman's identity and agency over years and decades of living inside something that was taking everything from her.

He did not ask you to endure it to prove your love for Him.

And the theology that told you otherwise was not sound theology. It was theology built around protecting systems and institutions and the comfort of people who did not want to deal with the messy reality of what was actually happening behind closed doors.

Statistically we know the truth. For most women in abusive situations prayer alone does not change the behavior of the person causing harm. Not because God is not powerful enough.

Because God gave every human being free will. And the person choosing to harm you is accountable for that choice. Not you.

You were never at fault. You were never to blame. And no one had the right to tell you otherwise.

What God Was Actually Doing

And here is where I want to take you somewhere deeper.

Because I believe something about the suffering you have been through that the church never told you.

God did not cause it.

But He was present in every moment of it.

Working something in you that could not have been worked any other way. Not because He wanted you to suffer. But because He knew what you were made of. He knew the courage and the strength and the wisdom that lived inside you that even you did not know was there.

He knew your identity and your agency needed to be recovered in a way that nothing easy would have produced.

He knew your faith could withstand what you were walking through even when you were convinced it could not.

Even when you wanted to curse Him.

Even when not one prayer you begged and pleaded was answered the way you wanted or thought you needed.

He was doing a work so deep inside you that only the woman on the other side of it would be able to fully understand what it produced.

And that work required something that the church did not tell you would be part of it.

Forgiveness.

Not performed forgiveness. Not forgiveness on a timeline that served everyone else. Not forgiveness as the price of admission to healing.

Real forgiveness. The kind that sets your own soul free from the prison of what was done to you. The kind that says I am not going to let what they did determine what I get to have for the rest of my life.

That forgiveness is not weakness.

It is the most powerful act of self-liberation a woman can choose. Watch This Week's Video

I want you to watch this before you read any further. Everything I have written here grew out of this same anger, the same seven years, the same four years that followed. Hearing it and reading it are two different experiences. Let both of them reach you.

https://youtu.be/uVuSh_dt2zM

He Is The Redeemer

And here is what I want you to hold onto when everything else feels uncertain.

God is the only one who can repair what was broken and make it shine in ways that another path never would.

He knew before you were born what you would walk through. He knew the patterns and the beliefs and the wounds that were written into you long before you ever walked into the relationships that began to destroy you bit by bit, day by day, month by month, year by year.

And He knew that on the other side of all of it you would be a woman whose faith was not theoretical. Whose wisdom was not borrowed. Whose strength was not performance.

A woman who had been through the fire and came out refined.

Isaiah 61 says He will give a crown of beauty instead of ashes. The oil of joy instead of mourning. A garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.

That is not a promise for someone else.

That is a promise for you.

Not despite what you have been through.

Because of the work He has been doing in you through it.

It Is Okay To Not Be There Yet

And I want to close by saying something to the woman who is reading this and thinking that she is not anywhere close to beauty from ashes.

That is okay.

You do not have to be there yet.

You are allowed to still be angry. You are allowed to still be grieving. You are allowed to still be figuring out who you are outside of everything that was done to you and everything you were told you had to be.

God is not in a hurry.

He is not checking a timeline or comparing your healing to someone else's.

He is with you. Right here. In the middle of the mess and the anger and the doubt and the exhaustion.

And as you transform your mind and do the real inner healing work, He is going to rebuild you from the inside out. Showing you all the courage and strength and wisdom you gained through what you survived. Restoring what you thought was gone forever. Giving back what you believed had been permanently taken.

Peace. Hope. Joy. Love.

Not as a reward for performing faithfulness.

As the fruit of a woman who finally stopped letting what was done to her determine what was still possible for her.

That is the redemption He promises.

And it is available to you.

Right now.

Exactly where you are.

Come find me on YouTube - The Inner Healing Journey Method™ is where this work begins. And it was built by a woman who has had to live every single word of what you just read.

God bless your healing. God bless your anger. God bless your courage to finally tell yourself the truth.

With love and respect,

Jill Inner Healing Coach

Founder, Inner Healing Journey Method™ and Raising Her Worth

Helping women reclaim their worth, restore their voice, and walk in healing.

Raising Her Worth: Leadership Rises & Falls With Her

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