A Christmas Letter to the Mother Spending This Holiday Alone

There are few days in the year that carry both holiness and heartache quite like Christmas.

For many mothers — especially those walking through estrangement, silence, or the ache of missing children and grandchildren — this season does not look like the movies, the commercials, or the church card images.

There is no full table, no matching pajamas, no family photo in front of the tree.

There is quiet. There is waiting. There is grief you can feel in your bones.

If this is your reality this Christmas, I want to speak directly to your heart:

You are not forgotten.

You are not unworthy.

You are not unloved.

You are not alone.

You are a mother whose love never stopped — even when communication did.

You are a woman who has carried more than most people will ever understand.

And you are held this Christmas in the arms of a God who sees everything you have endured.

Christmas Isn’t Cancelled Because Your Heart Hurts

Christmas is not defined by who gathers around a tree. It is defined by the One who came to be with the brokenhearted.

Jesus did not enter the world through perfection.

He entered through poverty, rejection, misunderstanding, and a family that carried its own scandal and shame.

He understands estrangement.

He understands betrayal.

He understands grief.

He understands feeling unseen by the very people He came to love.

You and Jesus have more in common this Christmas than you may realize.

If You Are Alone This Christmas… Here Is the Truth:

You are not abandoned.

You are not behind.

You are not forgotten by Heaven.

Every prayer you’ve whispered, every tear you’ve held back, every memory that stings a little this year — it is all seen.

God is not punishing you.

He is sustaining you.

This Christmas, I Want to Invite You Into Something Healing

Not forced joy.

Not pretending.

Not bypassing pain.

But a new kind of Christmas — one that honors both grief and hope.

Here are gentle, trauma-informed ways to make this day holy:

1. Create One New Tradition Just for You

1. Not a replacement.

2. Not a distraction.

3. A gift.

4. Light a candle.

5. Write a letter to your future healed self.

6. Read Luke 2 slowly.

7. Make one recipe that brings you comfort.

8. Buy something small that symbolizes the woman you are becoming.

This is about rooting yourself in peace, not pretending the pain isn’t there.

2. Let This Be a Christmas of Receiving

Mothers spend their lives giving — their time, their energy, their hearts.

This one… let yourself receive:

Receive rest.

Receive compassion.

Receive gentleness from God.

Receive the permission to not be “strong” today.

Receive the truth that you deserve softness, too.

3. Release the Pressure to Fix Anything Today

Estrangement is a long journey.

Clarity takes time.

Healing takes time.

God works in ways we cannot see.

You do not have to solve Christmas.

You only have to breathe your way through it.

4. Remember: Love Still Counts Even When It Isn’t Seen

Your children may not see your love right now.

They may not understand what you survived.

They may not have the tools to face the truth yet.

But love is not wasted.

Love does not die in silence.

Love outlasts separation.

God saw every moment you protected them.

God saw what broke you.

God saw what they could not.

And He holds every broken piece gently.

A Blessing Over Your Christmas

I pray this Christmas brings you:

• A quiet moment of peace

• A reminder of your worth

• A glimpse of the woman you’re becoming

• A sense of being held by God

• A tenderness toward your own heart

• And a hope that doesn’t demand a timeline

Jesus came into the world on a night that looked nothing like glory —and still, glory came.

May that truth comfort you on this holy day.

You Are Not Walking This Journey Alone

If you need support, truth, clarity, or simply words that speak into the deep places only estranged mothers understand… the entire Estranged Motherhood Series is available for you to read this month right here on my blog.

Download the free Letters to Estranged Children

_FREE LETTER COLLECTION FOR ESTRANGED MOTHERS.pdf

Download PDF • 373KB

Access the Safe Communication Handout

SAFE COMMUNICATION FOR REUNIFICATION.pdf

Download PDF • 431KB

And begin your own healing journey with my courses designed for your restoration and peace.

This Christmas may not look like the picture you prayed for —but your story is not done.

Your motherhood is not over.

And God is not finished.

One day at a time.

One breath at a time.

One prayer at a time.

Holy things are never rushed.

Merry Christmas, from my heart to yours.

Jill | Inner Healing Coach

@innerhealingcoach