You have done this before. Different person. Different beginning. Different reason to believe this time would be different. Same place. This is not bad luck and it is not your fault. Your nervous system has been choosing for you. And it is time to finally understand why so the pattern can end.

I was on the floor of my home. Too weak to stand. Alone in a way that went bone deep. And I whispered the most honest prayer I have ever prayed. If you are real, please do not take me. And then I felt it. A weight on my back. A warmth I have no words for. And a voice that said my name. That was the moment everything changed.